Pick a wife
“The problem is,” he says, “that I love three girls. I don’t know which one to choose.”
“What about them?” I ask, “maybe neither of them wants to marry you.”
“Well, I’m sure they will not object. I should choose, because the girls cannot. ”
My coworker is in the process of choosing a wife, and I am having a difficult time with it. While I do agree that he needs a woman in his life -- he’s 27 and spends too much time chatting with girls in other countries over instant messenger -- the wife-picking exercise is quite painful for me to watch.
I suspect that the three contenders are all his classmates at Kabul University: Young, beautiful Afghan women, ambitious and brave enough to be students. After he picks the lucky one, they will get engaged, and she will no longer be able to study. After they get married, he will probably be too jealous to let her out of the house. Because despite the cowboy boots, clean-shaven face and love for Jack Daniels, he’s only marginally more liberal-minded than the white-bearded mullahs.
On the other hand, maybe it’s true as he says that any of these girls would not want to work once they’re married; and maybe they want to be chosen by a man rather than choosing one themselves. I have no Afghan girlfriends, so what do I really know? Perhaps the real reason why I suffer observing this wife-picking excercise is that I judge it based on my own Western notions of gender equity and romantic love?
“What about them?” I ask, “maybe neither of them wants to marry you.”
“Well, I’m sure they will not object. I should choose, because the girls cannot. ”
My coworker is in the process of choosing a wife, and I am having a difficult time with it. While I do agree that he needs a woman in his life -- he’s 27 and spends too much time chatting with girls in other countries over instant messenger -- the wife-picking exercise is quite painful for me to watch.
I suspect that the three contenders are all his classmates at Kabul University: Young, beautiful Afghan women, ambitious and brave enough to be students. After he picks the lucky one, they will get engaged, and she will no longer be able to study. After they get married, he will probably be too jealous to let her out of the house. Because despite the cowboy boots, clean-shaven face and love for Jack Daniels, he’s only marginally more liberal-minded than the white-bearded mullahs.
On the other hand, maybe it’s true as he says that any of these girls would not want to work once they’re married; and maybe they want to be chosen by a man rather than choosing one themselves. I have no Afghan girlfriends, so what do I really know? Perhaps the real reason why I suffer observing this wife-picking excercise is that I judge it based on my own Western notions of gender equity and romantic love?
posted by Anja at 12:20 PM
1 Comments:
It is really interesting for me to read about your insight into the challenges facing Afghan women.
It's a topic I have been thinking a lot about in the last few days after seeing a movie title "Osama". You probably saw it already but if you did not. Netflix it immediately.
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